1st of January news

Good afternoon everyone,it is the first of January and you're tuning in to 'Instant News' brought to you by Han Zhang, on channel P4F13.
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Mr.Woo

On today's news, we will talk about the recent failures of Mr.Woo Han Zhang of only getting 3 A's in his PMR(Penilaian Menengah Rendah).His failure has made headlines in many fictional newspapers shocking everyone who reads it, literally, shocking everyone..... We have sent him to interview himself and we found out from our sources that he is currently residing in Selangor. It seems he hopes that he still can be accepted into the science stream class of his school, SMK Kelana Jaya.

In another almost unrelated story, a fictional news paper, "The Moon's" selling rate has gone up by 34% since this morning because everyone seems to be enjoying the 'shocking' news. The hair style trend has also been affected by this 'shocking' incident. We haven't gotten any pictures of this eccentric new hair style, but getting it is quite simple. Buy "The Moon" and receive the lightning jolt, your hair will most likely stand up straight, and there you go! The new trend!

Here is your daily dosage of decent and normal news. The Chinese New Year will be arriving early this year,on the 26th of January. We do not know why it came so early but WHO CAAAAAAARES! we are getting our bonus early this year!! *cough* Erm..... sorry about that..... Hope my boss didn't hear that........

That's all for the news!


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Camera Man: uhh..... we still have twenty minutes left on TV..........

News-giving person: OK! time for commercials! *whisper* cut to the commercials~!

Camera Man: ......we don't have commercials..........

News-giving person: Then just quit shooting dammit! (picks up his shoe and throws it at the Camera Man...)

*Click*

*Static*